Have you at any point had a relationship in which your mind out of the blue, woke up and acknowledged, you were enthusiastically doing things you’d never as a rule consent to? Chances are you fell prey to a master manipulator.
There is such a great amount of data out there about love and how we can make love work. The one thing that love brings us is trust. We hope and trust that our partners cherish us, we hope that our friends see the positive qualities in us, and we also hope that we find enduring love with a partner that is empowering and loving. It sounds simple, but then a lot of us either love, have begun to look all starry eyed at, or have been adored by those who aren’t loving us in return. It was/is the expectation that kept us secured, attempting to fit a square peg into a round gap. The contrast between love and manipulation is now to follow.
Manipulation and control in a relationship is a major issue since it’s subtle. Ace manipulators can bend your words and actions with the goal that it appears that every wrong in relationship was just because of you. It can make you feel insane like you’re not in control of your emotions, feeling, and activities. What’s more, it can go on always before you understand it’s happening.
Emotional manipulation in a relationship is more typical than you may suspect it is. It doesn’t just occur in outrightly abusive relations, not at all like what a few people might want to think. It very well may be something as little as your partner driving you to consistently do what they need when you all are as one. But, it can mean something very serious. The vast majority don’t understand they’re being controlled until it’s past the point of no return. And after that the trust issues mount. It’s not that easy you might think, because emotional manipulators are generally very skillful. They begin with subtle manipulation and up the ante after some time, so gradually that you don’t understand it’s happening to you.
While you probably will not get it each time, there are a few signs that your partner is in your mind. If you spot them, it can enable you to prepare yourself to better judge when you’re being controlled and manipulated. It will empower you to discover a partner who doesn’t need to use shady control strategies to have a sense of safety in your relationship.
Your partner makes you feel guilty…for everything, everything!
The bad task of manipulation always starts with guilt. If your partner can convince you to feel all the more guilty for your actions when there is
nothing wrong that you have done. Manipulative partners also try to make you believe the fact that they’re doing a better job of “loving” than you are so that you’ll be a step ahead in trying to set aside what you want in order to
feel like you “love your partner just as much.” It is a sick mind game!
They play the victim card
If you are being manipulated, chances are, for every right or wrong, you always become the perpetrator and your partner becomes the victim. It doesn’t matter if your partner is the one who started a vicious fight, it doesn’t matter all the nasty things they say to you, you will always be at fault for being rude to them, even if it was in retaliation. Chances are even if you are right, you will be the one who ends up apologizing.
They tell you that you’re overreacting when you try to talk about legit issues
Manipulators are also capable of gaslighting you. Denying that your warranted reaction to something is, in fact, you overreacting is a masterstroke in downplaying their own culpability.
They make you believe that you want what they want
We all start out relationships with need and deal-breakers but it’s natural, as you start to blend two lives, that compromises are made. What’s NOT normal at all is when you have to completely set aside what you want and need in an effort to appease your partner. If you start to realize your partner’s needs are being met far more often than yours are, you might be linked with a manipulator.
Their actions don’t match their words.
Emotional manipulators will speak to you what is pleasing to your ears and what you want to hear, but the actions they do are an entirely different story. They swear their support, but, when it comes to following through, they will act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable. They make you question reality as you see it and mold your perception according to what is convenient to them.
Are you giving in to what your partner wants out of feelings of guilt or because your partner has made you feel responsible for the way they feel? Have you given up what YOU want just because your partner made you believe that you should want something else? If you have answered “yes”, you might want to reconsider the relationship you are in.
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